People not coming to wedding reddit. Invited around 150 and only ~35 of them are family lol.

People not coming to wedding reddit It's your wedding and the guest list should be people that you both want to see there. He has loads of family and friends, whereas I truly have neither. My dad isn't because he is racist and my husband to be is Hispanic. Our wedding is in a week on a long weekend. Your wedding is just a wedding it’s not a national holiday! You are paying for your wedding. 🙋‍♀️ A lot of people force their opinions on you and have expectations about what you’re wearing, the food, etc. Comparing your upcoming wedding to Pinterest and Instagram ist bad. I'm like "ITS NOT YOUR WEDDING! 3) if they were so concerned about fighting, they better have had a dry wedding. We also had a vaccination mandatory wedding and it was such a blessing to celebrate with people who we respect and who respect us. I'm sorry you don't have the parents you deserve, but you won't regret prioritizing the people who deserve you. I haven't spoken with this person in at least 4 years, and only because we happened to be at the same event by chance. This is an adult party with a lot of alcohol, so we have asked that people not bring babies and little children. Basically, our biggest regrets was not inviting more people. Regardless if it is or isnt the means requested No - I think weddings can be a good opportunity to renew contact and get a fresh start with some people. Don't subject yourself We've chosen to not invite our parents and instead only have my aunt, uncle, our close friend and our dog. You do not attend a wedding without giving a gift. 1 person is not breaking the bank if you can afford to invite 14 coworkers. A few people had conflicts and a few others could not travel due to health/surgery. However, we come from large families and this meaning not everyone gets an invite. We had 4 people not give anything, and 2 of them either mailed us a card or gave it to us a few weeks My wedding is in 5 days, they’re not coming. My fiance and I started at a 120 person guest list and cut it down to 80 the same day we started talking to vendors because we Yes ma'am. If everything is really so precise that extra guests don't get a seat or a plate, that's on them for not telling you they're coming. Also, if you haven't bought the venue yet, Pay for slightly less plates. People make On the day of the wedding, or the day the wedding was supposed to be, Melissa showed up at my place as if nothing had happened. Be a good friend and extend a little understanding to them. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I feel for you because my fiancé’s brother and wife are not coming to our wedding because they claim they can’t afford it yet live a ritzy lifestyle. isn't really under your control. My friends have been great and are mostly coming. I’ve been that broke before. They cannot get that person back from death. Now I’m worried people will leave early, not dance, etc. I'm not married yet (but we're getting close!!), but I completely do not regret not inviting my mom. A coworker told me that he wanted to attend my other coworker's wedding out of support, but he was just going to go, "make an appearance," have a drink, and leave. The vast majority of which are coming from out of town. I'm realizing that there is nothing I can do to get the cost of our wedding down any further, and now I can't stop crying and am considering just canceling our venue and doing a destination wedding with As many have said, I think less people will come, less people will dance, more people may leave early. Even more people think texting someone with a yep is okay. The wedding is one day, but he's going to have to deal with her cousin for the rest of his life. From your side or from his. Regardless if it is or isnt the means requested After that he said that he’s not coming to the wedding without Kyla and I replied “fine”. Invite them and just let them know no one else from the family is coming and you’re sorry if it causes problems for them. I'm in my mid thirties and I'm like, I do not need any gifts. We tried to make this wedding as cost friendly as we could for those who would struggle financially to come (e. If not, do not feel obligated or guilty about not inviting them. That's just rude to be talking to OP about the wedding coming up and then not Anyways, we eloped last week and now my aunt keeps pushing to send her an invite for the party and I’m just trying to dodge the question (she’s a second cousin and the only one I’m semi close to, so her not coming allowed us to not invite all second cousins and we can’t accommodate the addition of all 5). Also, its not really your place to say its "basically not a wedding". Just enjoy your According to a heated post on Reddit’s “Wedding” subreddit on December 9, 2024, one couple was firm about capping their nuptials at 75 guests. If they do not go to your wedding because your wedding is a child free zone then know the attendance is just respecting your rules and chose not to go because their ego got hurt. she always comes back with "well so and so isn't going to come, it'll just be nice to invite them, and I know this other person and this Idk if my dad was clean or not at the end of his life, because he died 20 days after I found him, but that is another story. I'm honestly not too bummed about it because I don't really know them that well (we grew up on opposite sides of the country), but my grandparents kind of make me a little sad. Source It’s possible to get an exception, but the bishop has to approve it, and there needs to be a good reason for not having the wedding in a church. However, in my situation, given the context, I think this one might be an exception. Yes 3yo require constant care, but not by 4 people at the same time, and since you made plenty of accommodations for them to attend I do not believe the issue is on your part. There was one family invited who chose not to get vaccinated, and they were not missed. We estimated 114, but a few people are not bringing plus ones that we thought would. I've never heard this mentioned outside of Reddit. Unless there is some unmentioned drama about you not having her on your bridal party or something that could be truly upsetting to a very close friend. I don't know how it will be a year from now, or whenever your wedding is, but people maybe still be likely to say "yes" and then get anxious about the state of the world before your wedding and decide not to come. Listen to your mom. I'm not sure her mom not trusting or supporting a relationship (that quite literally failed) is really toxic. I would NOT want someone my fiancé dated at my wedding. My fiancé, “John” (26M) has know “Connor” (26M) for over 15 years. They don’t have a good relationship at all. Invited around 150 and only ~35 of them are family lol. R. Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry that you were dealing with that when everything is supposed to be a happy celebration. There is no way this was not going to come up. Good thing we have small families or our wedding would’ve gotten out of hand FAST. We blocked rooms for two nights (the night before the wedding and the night of), but some people are coming in earlier and just paying the regular rate. He called me last Friday to tell me he’s not coming because of our mom. If that’s how you feel don’t come because I certainly wouldn’t want someone like that at my wedding. I was grateful someone wanted to throw me a shower but I'll admit it was still fairly expensive for a small wedding ($9k) but that's because we felt we could splurge on some things since we had a smaller group: wedding clothes, very nice dinner for 40 people, open bar, and the venue was a private tent of a restaurant with an airstream turned into a bar so it was a little pricey to rent out on a Friday night. We also had a really small wedding, only 32 people, and I had one couple cancel and had one person without a plus one, so I ended up inviting another one of my cousins and just apologized for the last minute invite and said I’d love if she came and she was super into it and understood it was so small and was just happy to come. Likewise, hiring a photographer for 8 hours is expensive whether you're doing a wedding or not. I'm a few days into tracking down the last of the RSVPs, and for the last several days everyone I have talked to has said they're not coming. So, my parents aren't attending my wedding. However, according to modern wedding etiquette, guests who are married can typically expect for their partner to also be invited—but that wasn’t the case for one Reddit A bride wrote on Reddit that she and her husband are feeling 'humiliated' after planning a 'nontraditional' wedding celebration with a 'glow/rave theme' and having only 16 of In a post shared on the r/weddingshaming sub- Reddit, the poster used Facebook to ask for some advice ahead of their nuptials next summer. I’ve been invited to just the reception before and I was upset- but only because I was spending a lot of money to travel and was only told close to the wedding I was only invited to the reception and it just felt a little odd to not have known earlier on. I'm just afraid that I'll regret not having the full "bridal experience" with bridemaids, friends, and pre-wedding activities He deliberately chose not to, which, unbeknownst to me until years later apparently caused a huge fight between him and my sister (who was in the wedding party). And yet, we both feel a bit sad. The “thank you for coming” let me know they didn’t receive the gift. It's definitely okay not to feel obligated to invite people! I agree. It is their bad and not your problem to fix. My brother is not at all aggressive, jealous, or have any mental illness, he is a bit shy but has gone to many family functions including my brother's wedding a few years ago, which was further travel and fewer family members he knew. I am sad my dad will not be there, but I'm relieved I won't have to deal with I’m on your side. I just stated that. orangekitti • My sister just attended a wedding like this and many guests hated the Weddings are an event. If you're not close, just prioritize your happiness. ignore what she said and continue to ask for advice in hopes she'll come around; or 2. Or check it out in the app stores So to invite uncles and aunts and cousins and spouses alone would be like 40 people, not to include kids and the rest of the family, plus the grooms family as well. Definitely not unreasonable. My mum I would expect her to show up for any and everything that Amelia got up to, I would have expected joy and support, and no amount of rewatching and browsing Reddit has given me an acceptable explanation for why mommy Shepherd didn’t show up for her own child on her wedding day. However, her sisters are hateful b***** for how they treat her. I get that coming to a wedding is expensive, but if you are going to come and bring a date at least covering it is definitely customary to give a card with check/cash. I was not close with his The bride, groom and I are all part of the same larger friend group, and most people in that group received invitations. ) The wedding is one day, but he's going to have to deal with her cousin for the rest of his life. If your wedding is 5 hrs, for example, and you had a 4hr drive to and from, that's 13 hours of activity, not counting the logistics, which add more time as some people would likely have to plan for being able to change after driving meaning that depending on the time of the wedding, if it's at 5pm, I'd have to make sure I'm on the road at least I would not reply or say anything. I think the key here is communicating early on that people are only invited to one and not the other to avoid confusion. Reply reply Vintage-Silverbullet • NTA. I come from a very right-winged family (I have NOTHING against those who are right-winged, as everyone is entitled to their own opinions) and they believe that Canada is a communist country and that the US is the best country in the history of all time. Anyway, long story short is I have several old friends I am debating inviting to the wedding whom I was close with at one point or another in my life. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. How I know this is because she’s done it before when it was my daughters birthday. I tried to talk to them about not doing those things, and they still said them at the wedding. “Mom, I love Dad. They do not get that you have to inform the caterers, b list etc. We had 4 people not give anything, and 2 of them either mailed The thing is that some very nice people just do not understand wedding ettiquete at all. But with the wedding approaching and no invite in sight, I did some investigating. We decided we would elope for a multitude of reasons, but the fact I have no one else but him close to me is a big factor, at least A bride became upset after many of her wedding guests refused to take the single taxi cab she 'very kindly' paid for to transport more than 100 guests from her wedding to their hotel. It's happening to us too and it is annoying, just tell me if you're coming or not so I can plan. ” D. It's no big deal. My fiancé and I both have huge families, so we have to have a big wedding (~150 people) no matter what. You don’t have to talk to him, you don’t have to sit with him, you don’t even have to be in photos with him. You can bring 2 guests to the wedding (not the rehearsal bc I'm not paying for that therefore I don't feel comfortable adding another person to the bill) 2. Worse than having someone I invited out of obligation come would be having someone come out of obligation. Most of them don't give a reason (and of course, I don't ask), but these are local people who got save the date cards like 9 months ago. Taking this story at face value, some cities have programs to coordinate with restaurants and grocery stores to pick up food and get it on ice immediately to serve that day or the next. I haven't found that anyone ever throws a sideways look at me, for coming to a wedding without a date. Like, I'm always going to like receiving gifts, but it feels painfully awkward to put people in the position they feel obligated. we used a photo from the wedding ceremony to design them and printed same-day at CVS. Needless to say, he's not invited to my wedding. Members Online • young_and_feral. “Hello, we haven’t received your RSVP for our upcoming wedding on 11/12. I don’t even have their phone numbers. That’s why I invited my estranged godmother I haven’t seen in 12 years to my 20 ppl wedding and it was the best decisions ever - for me - because I wanted to have a However, I prefer not to have the wedding in the US if possible. 5 hours long on this post. It’s already not fun to have to explain to people how you cannot game time off and you can’t just take a few days unpaid because you literally need your whole paycheck to live. My grandfather had to reclaim & keep his peace. You should be able to add rooms to just the night All told, some of these relationships are not mendable to me (the ones who chose a last-minute trip or just decided not to come, not the COVID ones!) and that’s ok. It’s a very nice red and that goes well with my skin tone. We invited 212 people. “I love my family dearly but sometimes they are We invited about 100 people to our wedding and only 60 came. I had . I’m getting married in 6 days. I’m 30 and my friends and I all enjoy socially drinking. or. Expand user menu Open settings menu. I also am choosing to stream my wedding for family that cannot attend and do a party after the fact for people that couldn’t make it. Here's my idea/terms: 1. Maybe we text a couple times a year, maybe. We just bought a house last year so we don't have a very large budget. A bride became upset after many of her wedding guests refused to take the single taxi cab she 'very kindly' paid for to transport more than 100 guests from her wedding to their hotel. Although my group is very polite and I wouldn’t consider them snobby or stuck up, people were a bit surprised by the text invite and the short timing. But I'm from a very old-school European family, so I don't know if that's how it works everywhere. So saying that you'll invite the kids to the resort but not to the wedding just really isn't a thing- the only thing that you are hosting and therefore that you can invite people to is the wedding. After losing thousands of dollars on these people and after having to postpone our wedding Check out our upcoming Reddit Talk With John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST. E. We actually went through our whole list an calculated the probabilities of each person attending, and we were pretty close to spot on. It's just that I live and work out of sight and out of mind so to speak i'm not really a part of the "thing" back there anymore. 10 family friends, 1 of my current coworkers (who’s really just a friend at this point), and all the others are friends. Please do not equate the death of someone to going to a wedding where you know no one. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now I reallllly don't want this to come off as gift grabby but we had a surprising number of guests at our wedding come without giving a gift or even a card. We have had a few people text us and say they’re coming but we haven’t officially counted them until they mail back our postcard RSVP The text invite furthered the perception that their engagement and wedding was very rushed, which people were asking a lot of questions about (not saying that’s elegant or polite, either). there’s a variety of accommodation around and a lot of it is relatively cheap and we pushed back our ceremony so people could drive up that morning if they couldn’t afford 2 hotel nights, we also understood people may feel To add to it, I'm very close to someone who retired during our time there, so she's coming, and one of the former employees will be singing with the band that's playing our wedding! I may even have a former employee come take some additional photos, and another former employee is attending as a guest! However, we've asked folks to not give gifts because at our time of life we're already inundated with our own stuff, and there are people traveling to our wedding from out of state, so I'm wondering if a thanks-for-coming note would be a nice thing for us to do even though we aren't planning on gifts. Only 8 people did not respond by the due date. Our caterer needs final numbers by 5/19/2023. Totally I have been complaining about people asking if or assuming they will be invited to our wedding all week and this is the kind of exception I make to my frustration — just make sure you add the context that you totally understand if you’re not invited but you’re getting mixed signals due to the bachelor party so wanted to make sure you I spoke to his mom at the wedding and she told me how thankful she was that we could come and it was so beautiful to see all of the people who helped shape her son into the man he became. The hotels are a 10min walk from the venue and Skip to main content. ” No, a Catholic priest generally would not perform a wedding outdoors because only churches are sacred spaces. There is, of course, a stereotype about weddings being ideal opportunities for hooking up with people you've just met. But I also think this is a know your crowd type thing. If you do not behave at the wedding, you will be asked to leave. Wedding is this Saturday so we will see if there are any no-shows. I can’t guarantee more than 5 of the “non-responses” will be attending. You can choose not to go to the wedding and avoid that situation. And not all those people are wealthy Reply reply chicagok8 • This is a great point! The wow factor could be an awesome band, fabulous food, signature cocktails, gorgeous flowers or all of the above. I was shocked that so many people asked us because we know a lot of engaged couples and they haven't had many people ask them. All 3 came to my destination wedding. Or at least, not inviting people who we had more faith in, if that makes sense. I hope everything turns Initially my fiancé and I decided that we can afford a 100 person wedding. But in the end people will think what they think. But I've found with wedding planning there really is the assumption that since people are family, they'll automatically get an invite. because they do not think that 100 people will be doing the same thing. It also goes two ways. A chunk of people said no because they are older and couldn’t make the drive down, had their son’s graduation the same day. Sometimes it's not about closeness but about shared memories and experiences and the belief that someone has changed your life for the better and you want to share one of the biggest of I can update after the wedding; our RSVP deadline just passed. Idk what my wedding has to do with mom but it’s his choice and it is what it is. I just searched "not excited about wedding". I'm sorry, but In response to her not coming or helping you can go 1 of 2 ways- 1. lol so don’t bother and worry about this kind of behavior. Our wedding website allowed us assign a specific number of spots to each invite. It's not cheap to feed 100 people. Some people seriously do not know this. They questioned your character. I’m not engaged, but it’s coming soon. As with most reddit stories, it's hard to believe there was enough leftover food from a wedding to feed another wedding party. Celebrate with her privately, but don't add to her stress by making her flip-flop about inviting you or having to justify her choices about her own wedding. It would come across in bad light for you to decline that shower because it is the one exception for a pre wedding event where those attending are Many of those were courtesy invites to people we knew wouldn’t be able to travel, so we came out about where we expected. Contact a few people and explain that no one from your side has RSVPed. I just don’t recognise the woman we’ve seen in that phone I have been complaining about people asking if or assuming they will be invited to our wedding all week and this is the kind of exception I make to my frustration — just make sure you add the context that you totally understand if you’re not invited but you’re getting mixed signals due to the bachelor party so wanted to make sure you Don't take it personally. This is a pattern with his siblings (his brother was supposed to be a groomsman and backed out the week or so before). I can't shake the feeling. I strongly second your statement. Add in some wine and that's just reality whether it's a wedding or not. My dad wants to come to my wedding, but my mom hid his wedding shoes and she’s holding his car keys. Whether people stay for a week/bring their kids to the resort/etc. Contest mode is 1. End-of-summer party. I still don’t really know why but my guess is they were never actually going to come. . 64% of the wedding got COVID (most didn't test positive until 3-5) days after the wedding. I invited all of them to my wedding (I was the last to get married, at age 54) and they all came for the whole weekend. My wedding is at the end of September, and we budgeted for 60 guests. “So here are your choices: you and mom and auntie can come to the wedding, you and mom can come to the wedding and we won’t invite anyone else from your family, or none of you can come to my wedding and I will find someone else to stand up for me. Most not coming are our out of town people. My partner and I have discussed this at length. It’s incredibly rude for people not to RSVP to a wedding. That argument sounds more like "barely simmering sexual tension" We sent personalized thank you notes to everyone who came, independent of gift-giving status, as well as people who sent gifts but did not attend the wedding. It’s common for them to host a shower for you to celebrate your wedding. I am going to try and compromise. Unfortunately, having loved ones refuse to come to your wedding can make it difficult to enjoy planning your A couple sent in their RSVP to a wedding two months late, so the bride wants to tell them they can't come, according to a post on Reddit. Sure enough, I’m not on the guest list. I get where you’re coming from, and personally I invited single friends to my wedding, but it’s not always a conscious choice to not be a good friend to someone cause they’re single and you’re in a relationship. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: (1) action of not having kids at the wedding (2) upsetting the future mother in law so much that she might not go to the wedding, or bring other members of her family This is exactly my situation I will only have my dad however we chose a destination wedding as my mom passed 2 years ago and I didn’t want a big wedding. it’s tiring to keep brushing it off I get alot of opinions from my mom and SIL. Now, a lot of them are not coming to the wedding for different reasons, but mainly because they have Anyone else feel like no one is coming to their wedding? I'm a few days into tracking down the last of the RSVPs, and for the last several days everyone I have talked to has said they're not Them not coming to your wedding is not about you. There were a few we knew weren't coming, like aunts and uncles in other countries or with failing health, but I've found out that a number of others won't be able to attend either. 'We would When I called to tell him the news, he told me that he would not be at the wedding. Today I found the couple’s wedding website and searched for my name under the RSVP form. Anyway, the dude is an asshole even on his best day, so I just considered his absence to be his wedding gift to my husband and I 😂 and on the upside, that night my sister was the most relaxed and fun I had Both my parents and sister told me they're not involving those other people and that I'm being selfish and a bully. I’m starting to worry about how few people are coming to our wedding relative to how many we invited. You feed people. I no longer trusted her after what she did that night, and I never wanted to see her again. We just don't want our day ruined by our parents dramatics. It was about $35 (not sure it's important info). We’re still all great friends who make a point of seeing each other every time we’re geographically able to. The kind One person was exposed a few days before but didn't know yet and tested positive two days after the wedding. Its about them. Maybe it’s true - maybe it’s bs. The majority of people at my shower aren't coming to the wedding, because it's only 25 people big. We invited them not really expecting them Not sending an RSVP, having an RSVP get lost, people deciding to come at the last minute, or people bringing +1s without saying anything are all extremely common and most caterers/venues anticipate it. We invited 167 to our wedding. Not guilty, just sad that I can't have my parents there like normal people because I know they won't behave. The rules are clear and need to be followed on your wedding day. Funny enough the sloppiest person at the wedding I just went to, was a married guy 🙃. I didn't want a big wedding so I knew they wouldn't be coming. IMO you gotta exercise your "fuck it" muscle. Personal attacks will not be tolerated. He is as much my parent as you are, and has as much right to be at my wedding as you do. My mother pled her case that if my aunt’s invitation still stands, that she herself will not be coming to the wedding and that as her son I should be showing some loyalty (I’m a 23 year old man). They do act self-centered at many times albeit not necessarily ill-willed. Renting a private space is expensive whether it's a wedding or not Where people come to ask if an outfit for an upcoming wedding is appropriate. It sounds like your cousins are innocent bystanders and you all have a good relationship. He was even supposed to be a groomsman. In the end she said she will not be attending due to multiple reasons including her resentment towards my stepmom and me for not taking her (stepmom) off the Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. You won't need to say you don't expect gifts, because the point of the party isn't about you or your marriage, because it shouldn't be, because you didn't invite them to your wedding, and inviting people to wedding-related events when they weren't invited to the wedding, or worse, some sort of consolation party, is rude. Log In / Sign Up; Also all our guests will be coming from out of town so we want to spend as much time with them as possible. r/weddingplanning A chip A close button. Other people's opinions of us are actually not our When I vocalised those ideas to the wedding party, Alan said he doesn't feel comfortable doing this. You entertain people. If we weren’t already over our 120 guest limit (if we go over the limit we have to pay an extra $2,000 to rent a tent to accommodate everyone) and banking on at least 10 people not coming to the wedding, I wouldn’t have a problem inviting him. Me and my fiance are having a wedding in Greece as we are from different locations (Italy and Ireland), all of my fiancé's family have booked and are coming, mine however are not, it's only my dad and one of my brothers that are coming. If a person was given a plus one, we just told the website to allow that guest to respond for a max of two people. I don't recall ever having managed that, but I've definitely done a lot of flirting at weddings. My fiancee figured out that is was from this person, who isn't even invited (we've sent out save the dates but not invites). She'll be present it's not like we 100% exclude her. A few of them might make if effort if they knew, everyone is probably thinking that you'll have lots of people coming and won't notice if they can't make it. One person said "I would rather give a bigger gift than travel" which, okay, I would personally rather have the person but it is hard for some people to travel. Everything in my head screamed no. None of my grandparents are coming, and out of the ~50 people in my extended family, only 6 are coming. That being invited to a wedding is a huge inconvenience for them and that we should bend over backwards for them because they graced us with their presence. We also want to do photos off site (10 minutes away) and it just makes for sense to get ready and then do photos before. Before deciding, I'd consider the people you absolutely don't want to get married without and make sure they can make it, with the realization that they can change their mind at any time and it's a whole lot more likely they will change their mind over a Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. One person had a bad fever but not bad enough for hospitalization and everyone else had minor cases that they thought were colds. I’m not sure how much time we should set aside but I’m thinking minimum 1 hour more realistically 2 hours. HOWEVER, it really helped me to "compare" our plans to our friends' weddings and people in similar financial situations. And yes the Vegas trip was on my fiancé's side - he doesn't seem to be as rattled as me but then again, he's not the person that has to do the table charts, seating charts, guest lists for the vendors and planners etc. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. You must pay Our wedding is in a week on a long weekend. Total invited: 94 Total yes: 76 Total no: 18 Total no reply by deadline: 18 Due to COVID, you're far more likely to get last-minute withdrawals rather than last-minute additions. If I invite all my aunts, uncles, and cousins that would mean inviting 40 more people than I initially budgeted for (I understand that not everyone can come). You are absolutely under no obligation to invite all your relatives. About 70 were from our of town, most a 2-3 hour flight away. It's more of a symbolic gesture to sort of 'let people know' about the wedding happening, but not necessarily expecting people who live far to come all the way. He should just say (or better yet, have his wife say, since it's her cousin), "I think there's been a miscommunication. It’s bright but it’s not white so can I wear My husbands sister and her entire family (husband and 4 kids, so 6 people total) texted him the morning of the wedding saying they weren’t coming. 171 guests (excluding myself and my FH) are coming. I was grateful someone wanted to throw me a shower but I would have felt so uncomfortable if people had felt they needed to give a gift on top of the work they put into the shower itself. That being said, I noted further along down the thread that I was a little offput that two of my husbands fraternity brothers spent $20 and Maybe they won't think anything of it. A load of malarkey if you ask me. After that he said that he’s not coming to the wedding without Kyla and I replied “fine”. I deeply understand the desire to make a brilliant impression on everyone at once, especially at your wedding. Some of my husbands cousins I’ve met a handful of times asked for plus ones for their girlfriends (that’s I’ve never met), and I’m still annoyed about it 2 years later lol. You're totally right and I am definitely really excited about celebrating with the people who are coming!! Not that I have anything against him, but I’m honestly thinking of keeping our wedding website private just so he can’t “causally” be at the same place I’m getting married as he’d be the type to tell people “oh yeah, I went to cherryjuice’s wedding, NBD!” Our wedding is in a small mountain town. And that’s the part I’m feeling anxious about. If you don't want these girls at your wedding, then say no! Instead of making a compromise he doesn't know about and then expect him to do the same in return. We had approximately 80% say yes. We all had a blast at her event, which was My parents arent coming to my wedding . A lot of people set hard limits on which guests can be invited (family only is a popular one). allergies had Budgeting for a wedding is insane, and each person can easily add $100 (and that's not for a ridiculously expensive wedding). 'We would I was very adamant that I didn’t want people I hadn’t ever met coming to my wedding. It's not that your son is a bad kid, he just may be more difficult to monitor or contain. Or even 20. The wedding is closer to our families than to us so we didn’t really invite We put the info on our wedding website in the dress code section. I asked him why and he said because he has a gf. Do people not get that it costs $120 per person (around average) to throw a wedding and it's like flushing money down the toilet when people randomly don't show? Legitimately, no. The yes rate is about 82% and most nos are actually people not using their +1s or not bringing their kids and partners. So far we have 113 yes, 21 no, and 78 no response. I’m not even sure if this is good advice since my advice to her would be, if you believe that this will “ruin your relationship with him” then you should also opt out of coming to the wedding to avoid any conflict with him. Any I have around 200 guests coming to my wedding. Keep it about the clothing. If we personally don't know them, or haven't seen them within the past couple years, we aren't inviting them. When word got our to our social circle, my friends came our in droves to Not quite last minute. Brushing off COVID by calling it a “cakewalk” esp when talking to people who have lost family or friends to the disease, is extremely hurtful. Your brother and sister in law are planning their wedding, and they are trying to make it easy on themselves and on other people. Tell your fiancé his friend can come but the ex isn’t invited as you aren’t comfortable with that and just want an intimate wedding with people the two of you both know. But she's not in the wedding party and she's not included there, just the MOH/Best man and bridesmaids and And tbh, I wished I could not invite my brothers to my wedding because of things they'd say. tell her since she's not coming or helping you'll have to rely on the people she asked you not to invite. I would have MAYBE 6 people on my side, if I was lucky. You can disagree, but that doesn’t mean anything ulterior is going on. Only 8 people are a flight away and half of them are not coming. I’m ok with people not coming but I know some people will feel obligated. And expecting them to come just because you've spent so much on doing things they've organised is a high and unrealistic When you're getting married, you have a million things on your mind. My mother has been a controlling, narcissistic my entire life and I have finally, after 30 years broke away from that negative setting. If you get more than expected, you just pay the difference. You’re putting a lot of time, effort and money into your wedding. our guest list is already at 160 with the people we want to invite, so we have like zero wiggle room anyway and we are paying for it ourselves. My wedding photos still make me mad because I remember ways my family let me down. That way, if you don't get enough people you're not wasting money. I have 14 people coming and 3 of them are from my side. But if you come, you will be civil. People are free to make their own choices, but those choices can have consequences. I am a bit disappointed right now and feeling down. The thing is that some very nice people just do not understand wedding ettiquete at all. ADMIN MOD Can I wear red to a wedding? Thoughts? I found a really nice steal of a jumpsuit at goodwill. My grandma and aunt are trying to convince me to invite Kyla for the good sake of our family, but to be honest I am not even sure if we are a family. But I’ve gotten invites for (and gone to weddings for) people I haven’t talked to in over a year for sure. I have fond memories with these people but we don't keep in touch. Your parents made no financial contribution to the occasion. Ultimately, I don't need to possibly make things more difficult for my mom, and I don't want to put the wedding guest in an uncomfortable situation where they are the only family member invited, and I don't need an absolutely wonderful person of a wedding guest who will not be able to stop themselves from blabbing about going to the wedding and causing problems. After one asked us why someone else wasn't invited, I explained it's a very small wedding and my fiancé also has family we couldn't invite. I did not know this until I started planning and had no idea how weddings were figured out by each head present for the major I appreciate the “thank you for coming” I’ve sent a gift that for whatever reason, was not delivered to the couple. So many people on Reddit have this mindset. and wrote the message on the back. Reply reply More replies. Scripts – A Simple and Effective Way to Assert Yourself Idk if my dad was clean or not at the end of his life, because he died 20 days after I found him, but that is another story. But it was all inclusive so I didn't Wedding is early June, wedding invites have been sent out with an RSVP by 5/10/2023. I thought about this when reading some other threads on here and looking back at my own wedding, where I had a few no-shows, and I legit cannot understand why people would do that (bear in mind I understand legitimate reasons to no-show like a sudden illness, death, or emergency, I mean like just deciding not to come despite RSVP-ing). A few people declined due to the adult only nature of our wedding. Since we have a courtesy block, there's no harm to us if folks only stay one night rather than two. I just want my dad to come. g. To put in perspective, the people that have asked us were a couple that we've known for a month, a highschool friend of my brothers, a next door neighbor at our new apartment, and someone I used to hang out with in highschool who has not been in But I think a wedding is not really time for compromising. We had a blast!! The people who didn’t come were missed, but the wedding wasn’t any less fun without them. Idk if my dad was clean or not at the end of his life, because he died 20 days after I found him, but that is another story. Before deciding, I'd consider the people you absolutely don't want to get married without and make sure they can make it, with the realization that they can change their mind at any time and it's a whole lot more likely they will change their mind over a I have always heard that, too but I don't know if expecting each guest to spend $100 on a gift is a resonable gift. You could also just not respond, I feel like often times people say things because they like to wear themselves talk (or type) and don't actually think it through Reply reply bakingcake1456 • You don’t send an invitation Reply reply marsumane • I didn't invite anyone that I haven't seen since covid. I would send those people who didn’t RSVP an email/text saying something like, “ We were hoping to see you at our wedding, but we understand that circumstances are such that you won’t be able to attend. it is definitely customary to give a card with check/cash. We have 119 coming, which is what we were hoping for. And I get invitations from friends I see every few years too. It felt extra special to hear/read their reactions to the thank If you don’t feel comfy with your father being there, that’s all you need to feel to not have him. Brian’s also single and not dating, his siblings don’t live nearby and he lives alone. She said her family was having a BBQ get-together and asked me if I wanted to come. My position is that I refuse to burn bridges with family on another’s behalf because of some quarrel that has nothing to do with me; and for all I know, even if I revoke the invitation from my Our invites did not have "and guest" on them. Your parents were manipulative, trying to force your hand by surreptitiously "inviting" people you do not want at your wedding. I of course, still invited my parents as I thought it was the right, daughter thing to do. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now low. Other people I’ve simply not received a Thank You and I don’t know if they didn’t get my gift or maybe they just didn’t send Thank Yous. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Their wedding is about them, and not about your son feeling included, I'm sorry to say. My family did not attend our wedding. You can have your destination wedding, but you're going to have to be okay with your people not coming to it. She will get mad and offensive, which sounds like she already is. It made me realise that they were just normal people with small budgets and made do with what they had. Another example is my fiancé's friends, whose wedding we attended last year, live in the US (we're in Canada). Before everyone jumps down my throat, I know that under MOST circumstances, you should NOT ask if you’re invited to someone’s wedding, as it’s extremely rude. Even if all you can afford is a card, that’s SOMEthing - although rich people or people who overspent on the wedding and expected to get that back in wedding cash might complain about that but I My brother is also not coming to my wedding. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. For example, I’ve been married for about five years. They barely know you and you barely know them. I have attended their weddings, some times out of the city, and try to be a good friend. OP, you should feel offended. His gf is invited to the wedding. This is another thing to ask the sales rep. I mean I am all for not inviting people to your wedding, but when you invite the entire team except 1 person you suck it up and invite the last person. Because we have two cultures - one where people know not to wear white and one where people know not to wear red, so we said something along the lines of “please wear what makes you feel fabulous, our only request is that you don’t wear white or red since these are the respective bridal colors in the two cultures”. RSVPs are due in a week. Please let us know by Saturday if you can join us - we’d love to have you! Unfortunately if we don’t hear from you in the next two days we’ll have to mark you down as not attending. 100% if I had a dry wedding I would not expect them to stay the entire time or to have as much fun at my wedding at those with open bars. I'm realizing that there is nothing I can do to get the cost of our wedding down any further, and now I can't stop crying and am considering just canceling our venue and doing a destination wedding with immediate family. My aunt called her to discuss whether she’s coming to my wedding or not, and they started arguing because just like me, she doesn’t understand why my mum would want to drive 13-14 hours without a plan. It’s just the expected etiquette. Maybe she would have gone if it was local, but not to fly across the country for a wedding she thought was just another one of her drunken ideas (even though she was sober) I agree that her and her sisters should have gone and it doesn't match, they are the best reasons i can come up with and it doesn't 100% convince me either Listen to your mom. (I also invited my 5 best friends from college, and they all came too, from as far away as Alaska and California. pnkek dxafc idwza wwvlum arwl zhwsiqt yqillqy ymjgy exw itbzdi